March 11th

 Im going to start posting more

Quark

Whether small or large its nothing 

fundamentally all empty 

still the chaos engines running

the moments between ARE something

So vast that it can be numbing 

Trying very hard to find that balance of whats important in life, I only have so much time, how do I want to spend it? Ive been cutting things that don't serve me, getting hyper focused on those that do, and inevitably learning patience. 

C'est La vie 

Peace and Love Void

March 10th

 March 10th 

Time keeps flying past me, 

I reach for it,

its gone,

I don't worry

its there 

embracing me. 

Things are amazing,

and yet 

fleeting

enjoying the feelings 

as they come 

letting them go 

as quickly 

victories 

only in hind sight 

expectations 

threats to my life

follow blue herrons 

insight 

and stop trying 

to get everything right 

it is all right 

keep letting 

the elements of chaos 

Collide 

Peace and Love 

A\Void

February 25th

Quip

Whole life a joke at your expense 

Your only shot aim for the fence 

Then take the bat to him and his friends 

Lately I've been less serious 

Cracking jokes made me curious 

Freely laughing till I'm delirious

 

Superfluous 

Cut you off cause you is to extra 

Should have walked away when I could

lost yah the day that I metcha 

I wish I knew you was no good 

For me, my desire to be free

From obsessive tendency

Peace and Love

A\Void 

February 24th

 February 24th

    I participated in my first rap battle ever on Saturday, I lost, I should be proud of myself for participating, everyone loses they first battle, and despite thinking I am special there are humbling moments where I'm reminded I have so much work to do, and have to keep growing. I stumbled, I did't even run out my verse I just stopped, ran out of things to say, confidence fled, and I was just there, lucky to get through. I knew I was gonna lose, but I didn't expect to have a moment to at least shine, where I failed, my whole thing is Freestyling, and I froze up, 

https://youtu.be/2V3SUQAEwa8

    On a positive note Punk with the Rhythmaddics crew dropped today, that shit is a banger, one of the best songs I've done, this whole year has been a really good year of pushing boundaries artistically and achieving my many goals like find live instrumentalists to work with,  learning to engineering at a basic level but still some level, running a reoccurring Agora over at Blackwall gallery, practicing two instruments, Im in school learning about Linguistics, I will also figure out how to start taking classes in other areas that effect my art such as choir, and music management. I don't have to be the best at everything I just want to be great at what I do, and what I love to do.  Fuck it keep thugging it G, first and foremost you got you.

Peace and Love 

A\Void

February 18th

 February 18th

I think 

Love is

the most compromising 

thing that can happen

not all bad

but 

it does lower your walls

its hard to justify

when each time

it brings 

hurt

pleasure

distraction

inspiration 

endings

the beginnings

we don't control 

they take us when

they want to

pulling us

deeper

into 

life

We went to a graveyard to court crows on my one year anniversary of having moved to ABQ, I like it down here,

The audacity? oh you mad at me? 

Face atrocity, still believe in peace

recompile pieces to completion

Frankenstein Monster what I believe in

Amalgamation of all that I see 

Pared down by this cultivated reason

forged within my bloodiest season 

held closely, giving allowance to be 

Won the deathrow freestyle contest at enchanted with Jihad on valentines day, spent the day with the only thing I truly love, rap, thats the point right? 

Peace and Love 

A\Void

February 10th

 February 10th 

Welp, 

Thugging it, 

Making big plays, 

Tired 

Writing 

Poems, 

Forgetting,

To Remember,

Writing 

More,

Poems,

Vestige

Leave my evidence on pavement 

you cant say I wasn't there 

Resisting enslavement 

to be free is to be aware

of the chains closing in on you

of those that are established 

without anything else to do 

be rebelliously, balanced  

Peace and Love 

A\Void

January 29th

     You know when you learning so much that you can feel it? like measure the progress you are making. In my journey of creation and life there are always seasons, times of fertility, lulls, hard work that is catching on, hard work that is not catching on. Right now I can feel the growth, like when I was drumming today, I had a moment where my mind could register what my arms were doing and my legs, I felt my body in synch and it was amazing. 

    My freestyle practice feels similarly, my ability to access that state of flow and awareness has been coming easier and easier and I have more, I wont say control thats not the right word, but freedom almost, or awareness of my freedom and what I can do in that space, and what I am doing automatically. All the moments of hard work, of practicing when I didn't feel like it, all the people who treated me like my obsession and practice wouldn't amount to what I was seeking that all the energy spent was a waste because I couldn't articulate my "Goal" fully. Theres just things in life that are like that, beyond the power of words, maybe forever, still both poets and linguists understand these boundaries and press them, we aspire to express the vastness, and the vastness must first be experienced to be articulated.

    Life feels richer and more vibrant lately, it also feels darker and more fucked up, its weird how that balance exists, in my personal journey I am finding some degree of success while our country is going to shit around me, the problem with richness is it is not picky about what the range consists of, so in this case, the pain of lose, and fear of the unknown have been coursing through my brain, I think the only thing keeping me sane, is the fact I've already grieved the loss or normalcy, accepted that things, well beyond my power were fucked. I also exist firmly in the camp of life in the face of whats to come being an essential and when paired with intention becomes revolutionary action.

While I've seen dark moments I've also seen so much beauty, that I know life is worth fighting for, that no matter the conditions, and seeming hopelessness, there will always be the chance for something new, for change my Navajo study book said "if you think today
is the same as yesterday you have no hope"

Peace and Love

A\Void